Lucid Design Read online

  “Do the clients become addicted?”

  “With the synthetic there is more of a pull, but I still wouldn’t use that word. Sometimes, after long use, there can be a minor withdrawal. I’d classify it as minor addiction.”

  Raleigh bottled up her outrage. If Gabe didn’t consider his own addiction anything other than a preference for the drug, he was in no position to be calling what these people had minor. Dressed in his militant gear, it was tempting to label him as a collected, orderly man. But she knew otherwise. He might not pace holes in the floorboards like Collin, but inside he was as much of a powder keg.

  “Will I be learning about the Lucidin market?”

  “No, not yet. You’ll have to familiarize yourself with it because the Designed sell their stuff on the market. Their trade is represented by the turquoise lines.”

  Raleigh traced the paths of the turquoise and yellow lines. Some dealers had duel lines coming from them but not Marcel. The yellow wove across the board in thick lines while the turquoise ones were thin.

  Gabe turned toward a computer. “Before we can have you jumping in, you need to read about the Designed. I’m sorry, it’s troubling reading, especially when you put it in context. Many of the adoptive parents loved their Designed sons. Some of the things they reported were red flags for the type of evil they would become, but they were largely overlooked. Grant and Able have to shoulder the blame on that as well. Everyone wanted to assume they were good. It’s a human thing to do, assume people are good at heart. They simply forgot that these boys don’t have hearts.”

  “Men, they’re men now.” The video changed her perception of them. The men that had sat around that table in California weren’t boys. “Using the term boy makes them seem innocent in a way they can’t be. Not after what they did.”

  “They were boys at the time of the accounts.” Gabe grabbed a chair and set her up on the computer. “You don’t have a password yet, but you don’t need it to read up on them. You will need one to have access to the intelligence, but we’ll get to that in time.”

  Raleigh scrolled to the twelve files. Their history. Gabe opened Sigma’s file, as if to drive home his point about the Designed. Then he stepped back, letting her read.

  The first few documents read like a lab book. There were observations, comparisons between normal development, and findings. It was clear that while Agatha and the others were changing diapers, they were also collecting a lot of data and testing the infants every day for things like motor development, eye tracking, and, eventually, speech. Some notes compared the brothers. Developmentally, they were all well ahead of the normal population.

  By the time Sigma went to live with his adoptive family in Nebraska, he was already recognized as a prodigy. His adoptive mother took up recording his progress, and her notes weren’t as thorough as the scientists’. They contained a lot of emotion, claiming he was “adorable” and a “special little guy.” Sometimes she slipped and wrote his nickname—Siggy. Funny, when Rho said he didn’t have parents, Raleigh’d had a hard time wrapping her mind around it. Now, even with proof that Sigma had been adopted, she couldn’t believe it.

  Red flags began to pop up by the time Sigma was in grade school. His mother wrote that she felt bad for her son because he was clearly superior to the other children. This remained the case even after he was sent to the best school. There were accounts of how he tormented the other children, because he was frustrated that “his intelligence didn’t have an outlet.” Everyone justified his actions. The only time his mother didn’t give Sigma the benefit of the doubt was when he picked on his younger sister, who was his parents’ biological child. The mother lamented that it was unfair to his sister to be in his shadow. By the time he was a teenager and shipped off to the island, it was clear that he was the Sigma that Raleigh had met.

  Raleigh became so engrossed in the reading that Gabe had to repeat himself twice when he interrupted her. “It’s time for dinner.”

  Rho’s file sat further down the screen, and Raleigh very much wanted to read it. She wanted to know what his relationship with Sigma was like before they were forced into hiding. She reluctantly slid back from the computer. She could see why G and A called the Designed monsters—at least one of them was.

  “I can’t eat right now.” Raleigh rubbed a hand across her knotted stomach as they left. The video killed her appetite.

  “Take a rest then.”

  Raleigh separated from Gabe, heading towards her cottage. Her mind replayed the video of the island. She had a lot to consider.

  —

  LATER, WHEN RALEIGH went to extract, she found only Dale in the room.

  “You skipped dinner,” he said.

  “I saw the video of the massacre.” Raleigh sat down and tore off her sweatband. “It was upsetting. I wanted to have some time alone after that.”

  “Yeah, the Designed are screwed up. They should’ve made us Modified from the start.”

  “Do you think it’s fair what they’ve done to you?” If Rho didn’t like being used for his Lucidin, how did Dale and Quinn feel?

  Dale snorted. “I don’t think they did it to be malicious. They need this medicine, and this was how they chose to make it. It’s not like they hurt me in any way. And the Designed were given gifts. Beauty. Smarts. They owe Grant and Able.”

  Raleigh wondered if Dale was infertile. Would he feel the same way if Grant and Able had taken that from him? If they did it to the Designed, then they almost certainly did it to the Modified. They’d want to control who had the drug and how much. It was too bad that the lab brains didn’t work yet, or that they hadn’t been developed years ago.

  Dale leaned back in his chair, the vial in his machine almost full. “I believe in the work Quinn and I are doing here. It’s true, I wish that I would’ve worked in the lab when I first got here. Since you’ve been here, I fit in better. I guess I needed a push to get involved.”

  Either that, or they needed a push to involve him. She wondered how accepted he’d be when she entered the field. It would be good if he had someone to make sure he was included when she left.

  “Well, I guess you could come running with Adam and me tomorrow. How’s that for a push?”

  Dale laughed. “No way. That’s your problem.”

  “You should get to know the guys. I’m not going to be here forever. Gabe’s already training me for the field, one day I’ll be gone.”

  Running his fingers over his gut he grimaced. “I’m not in great shape. Adam will hate that you invited me.”

  “No, he won’t.”

  “I guess it would be awesome to go home all ripped.”

  She wondered if he would ever go home. Would he be so forgiving of G and A if he were trapped? Were the Modified really here for their safety? Or was it because they needed the Lucidin. Either way, they were here for the long haul, and it would be a long time before Dale saw his folks.

  “Come running.” She wanted to make sure he’d be well taken care of when she was gone. Then she could work on expanding his freedom.

  22

  ONE MONTH LATER

  DALE COLLAPSED AGAINST the dormitory building. He took heavy breaths as he rested his head against the wall and stretched his legs out in the dirt. “Am I ever going to feel like I’m not going to die after a run?”

  Raleigh plopped down next to him, the orange desert dirt plastered to her skin with perspiration. She wiped her brow with the back of her hand and licked her dry lips, tasting the salty sweat.

  It’d been a month since they began running. At first, they took brisk walks. Now they dashed down the trail, their improvement evident in their physical transformations. Dale’s legs didn’t exhaust like they used to, and muscles appeared on Raleigh’s thin body. Dale was still on the heavy side, but his face had thinned. He looked older, part of that might have been his newfound sense of confidence.

  Raleigh’s body wasn’t the only thing that changed. The relationships she formed with Adam and the o
ther Receps had strengthened. In her spare time, they did extra training, played cards, and swapped stories of home. Over the last few weeks, the Receps had started referring to her as a Recep, and so did she.

  “You’re both doing well.” Adam’s shadow blocked out the sunlight as he stood over them. With his hands on his hips, he nodded his head. Their success was his. Gabe had mentioned that Adam might make a good instructor, and that comment prodded Adam to push them harder.

  Dale lifted himself from the ground, dusting his hands against his shorts. “Thanks, Adam, I should get back and extract.”

  Raleigh wanted to stay tethered to the ground, but a full day lay ahead, and she’d rather not stink for all of it. “I need to clean up.”

  “See you in training.” Adam waved and then stopped. “Hey, Dale, you should come, too.”

  “No way. Having you two watch me run is bad enough.”

  “We only practice with Lucidin part of the time since the rationing,” said Adam. “Most of the time we do sports and team building. You should come along.”

  Raleigh’s stomach tightened. Dale with the Receps? “Did you clear that with Gabe?”

  Adam shrugged. “He won’t care. It’ll be fun. The guys respect Dale and what he does for them. They aren’t going to tease him the same way they do us lower Receps. Dale, haven’t you been complaining about how boring the labs are?”

  Dale had been vocal about the tedious work. Once the initial creepiness of the brains wore off, he was a little bored. “Okay, why not? What should I wear?”

  “I’ll find you some clothes.” Adam patted Dale on the back.

  Raleigh followed Dale to the main building, she considered how much happier he was than when they met. Still, she didn’t like the idea of him training. “Dale, I think this is a bad idea.”

  “Aren’t you the one who wanted me to make friends with them? You insisted on it, we’ve been running for a month, and now you’re telling me not to? They’ve all been really nice, not inclusive until you came, but nice.”

  The Receps trained with Lucidin every third day, and Raleigh felt a nervous shift in them. The competition was downright brutal at times. Dustin pummeled her during a touch football game, and she had a large black-and-blue bruise on her hip as proof.

  “The rationing is hitting them hard,” she said.

  “That’s not my fault. I’ve upped my extractions to three a day.”

  “It isn’t going to be enough.”

  “No, but it’s a start. Soon you’ll be out in the field getting us another Designed.”

  Gabe scheduled Raleigh to go out in two weeks. Her official mission would be assigned after a benefactors’ dinner in Virginia later in the week. She couldn’t believe how fast the last month had flown by. Life here had become routine. Dale and Adam were her friends, and she was happy.

  Mu and Tau remained hidden, and she would never find them. That was clear. Information about the boat remained highly guarded, and Gabe didn’t seem to know any more about it than she did. Going back to Rho seemed foolish. Even if he still wanted to run and hide, he’d eventually be caught. She registered for school in the spring. College and life as a doctor were on the horizon. All she had to do was repress the uneasy feeling she had thinking that some of the good Designed would be captured. There were good Designed. The files showed that not all of them were as cruel as Sigma. Gabe and the others realized it, too. That’s why there was a capture list.

  Trevor had texted her two weeks ago with updates. She’d stared at his vague message for a long time. She wanted to inform him that she’d sided with Grant and Able and to assure him that she wouldn’t give them Rho. Instead, she told him she’d made no progress. If she’d never met Sabine and had just gone to Grant and Able in the first place, she wouldn’t have her guilt about Rho. She dreamed of him every night. Sometimes Gabe killed him. Other times she helped him escape.

  “You worry too much.” Dale punched her shoulder. “So, I can see you in training?”

  “Just wait until the Lucidin isn’t rationed. The Receps are too unsettled.”

  Part of her wondered if the Receps’s edge was due to her Lucidin. They cut Dale’s with the synthetic and hers. Some of the Receps mentioned that the hit was a little different. They assumed, wrongly, that it was an adjustment to the synthetic. Brent’s comment about addicts preferring her Lucid echoed in her mind, making her cringe. She should’ve asked Brent if he thought hers would be more addicting.

  “It doesn’t matter to me if they’re unsettled.”

  “I don’t like that they’re dependent on you.”

  Dale scrunched his nose. “Is that why you still haven’t told them that you extract?”

  “That, and I’m worried that they’ll be upset that I’m not affected by rationing. It’s made all of them cranky. It’s bad enough that Gabe favors me and that I’m going out into the field so quickly. Knowing that I extract would just make them hate me more.”

  “I guess it’s too late now. It’s the kind of thing you should’ve told them from the start.”

  They ducked into the extraction room and started making their donations. Quinn was there, and he went on about one of his online groups. Raleigh hadn’t helped him the way she had Dale. Not that Quinn seemed upset. Raleigh listened to him prattle on for the duration of her extraction.

  Returning to her cottage, she hopped in the shower and washed the grime from her hair. She didn’t usually shower after a run on training days, but today she felt too filthy not to. Fortunately, she wasn’t a prim girl. Being surrounded by guys brought out her tomboy side, which she liked. More than once she’d considered lopping off all her hair. Instead, it lived in a ponytail.

  When she arrived at the cafeteria, she found a long line. Oatmeal was her go-to breakfast these days, and she had her eyes on the raisins at the back of the case.

  “You dosed up again.” Dustin grabbed Brandon’s bicep. They were two people ahead of her in line.

  Brandon was in the ninety-seventh percentile, which meant that he often ate with Adam. Recently, he’d done better in training, making Gabe take notice.

  That made ninety-niners like Dustin wary.

  Brandon tugged his arm free. “No, I haven’t.”

  Raleigh couldn’t help overhearing them, but she didn’t want to get involved in the politics around rationing. Dustin, and some of the others preparing to go into the field, had insisted that they deserved to get more Lucidin in training.

  “Then how come you’re always so calm?” asked Dustin.

  Everyone noticed the increase in ticks and fidgeting. She remembered that Collin could never sit still, and the rationing made the Receps behave the same. Over the last two weeks some of the guys had bitten their nails down so short that their fingers bled. Others bounced on the balls of their feet, as if preparing for an unseen tennis match. One of the guys, Carter, liked to crack his knuckles. Gabe had told them all to scale it back. Otherwise, the small quirks were accepted as a part of life.

  “I didn’t.” Brandon grabbed his tray and plowed ahead.

  Brandon lied. Dustin was right. The unrest that seemed to plague the lot of them didn’t affect Brandon.

  “You and the girl are getting hits on the side because you’re some of Gabe’s favorites,” Dustin yelled after him.

  The last thing Raleigh needed was for him to know that she was a source of Lucid. Let them draw their own conclusions. Some of them thought it was because she was a girl, and others assumed that Gabe was playing favorites. None of them had confronted her. Raleigh was curious though—if Gabe hadn’t given him any extra—why was he holding up better? Maybe he made a small amount himself and that soothed his need?

  All of it made Raleigh wish that Dale wasn’t going to training. The Receps weren’t in the best state of mind. She collected her raisins and oatmeal, then searched the tables for Dale. She didn’t see him, so she ate with Adam.

  23

  RALEIGH HEADED TO the gym. She couldn’t decide if it
was a good or bad thing that it was a ration day. If they didn’t dose, Dale would be on level ground. But with the dose, the Receps were kinder.

  As Raleigh entered the meditation room, she could feel the relief the Lucidin brought them. She wondered how the healers were holding up. They didn’t have the same competitive atmosphere, or testosterone fueling their cravings. They also weren’t forced to scale back. Raleigh’d met them over the phone so she couldn’t sense how Lucidin affected their bodies. She hoped that this was a temporary problem.

  “Raleigh.” Gabe signaled her over when the meditation ended. Gabe had already taught her everything he could about Lucidin. She now served as a dummy for others to practice on. She also helped Gabe ascertain who needed to work on what. “Did you invite Dale to training?”

  “No. Adam did. I think it’s a mistake.”

  “You couldn’t talk him out of it?”

  “Nope. Are you going to tell him no?”

  Gabe shook his head. “You know how important the Modified are. Dale and Quinn are a vital aspect of our team, even if all they do is provide Lucidin. Agatha’s worried that he’ll slip back into the slump he was in before you arrived. She thinks it’s a good idea for him to be more involved.”

  “That’s because she doesn’t realize how restless the Receps have become since the rationing. Do you still think that they aren’t addicted?” It was a brazen thing to say. As a mole, she never would’ve made waves like this. But as a Recep it was her duty. Her commitment to G and A had formed, and now she had to do her best to make it a moral company.

  “This isn’t the time to discuss it.”

  “It never is.”

  “How well do you think Dale will do today?”

  “He’s becoming more confident, which is good. Tell the guys to go easy on him.”